This Birth Mother’s Day, Remember, They Never Gave Up!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is designated as Birth Mother’s Day. It’s a day for adoptees and adoptive families to acknowledge the women who made them a family. But it’s also a day to acknowledge the loss, the grief, the shame, the guilt, the struggle, and the heartbreak that birth mother’s go through that makes them birth mothers.

Mary’s Unexpected Pregnancy

In 1992, the song Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant came out. I was six years as a birth parent, and the first time I heard it, it hit me hard. I think I sat and cried for about an hour. That song always puts tears in my eyes because it so accurately portrays the fear of facing an unexpected pregnancy and the need for help, love and support.

The Best Advice

When we see someone struggling, our natural response is to try to help them. There is no moment more true to that than when we see someone we know or love facing an unplanned pregnancy. Whether it is your friend, sister, daughter, coworker, granddaughter or girlfriend, the first response is to offer them advice. The problem is, often they are inundated with several “helpers” who want to offer their advice, all with differing opinions. It’s very difficult to be struggling with a decision and have people all around you giving conflicting advice but not really providing any resources to follow through with that advice. “You’d be a great mom, I’ll help you!” while someone else says, “but what about college, you’ll never be able to go,” to “whatever you do, don’t just ‘give it up.’” The best advice you can truly give them is to refer them to an LSS Pregnancy Counselor, because everyone around them might have an opinion on what they should do, but a Pregnancy Counselor helps THEM decide what THEY should do.