This Birth Mother’s Day, Remember, They Never Gave Up!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is designated as Birth Mother’s Day. It’s a day for adoptees and adoptive families to acknowledge the women who made them a family. But it’s also a day to acknowledge the loss, the grief, the shame, the guilt, the struggle, and the heartbreak that birth mother’s go through that makes them birth mothers.

Christmas: A Time of Unexpected Hope

I can’t help feeling emotional around Christmas time. Not just because of the joy of the season, the happiness of seeing friends and family, the sadness remembering loved ones we’ve lost, or the excitement of giving and receiving gifts, but because of the STORY. The story of Mary, a young woman, unexpectedly pregnant, unmarried, and undoubtedly afraid.

Adoption: Past, Present, and Future

As we look to the 100^th year of the LSS Adoption program, I’m reflecting on all that I have learned from my time at LSS. A lot has changed since those first days of the “Lutheran Children’s Home Finding Society of South Dakota” in 1920. And in a way, things have almost come full circle.

Adoption Grief: A Loss Worse Than Death?

photo by Jensen Twite, used with permission

I stumbled upon a forum discussing birth mother grief and loss from adoption, and as we are approaching Mother’s Day and Birth Mother’s Day I have found myself perhaps unconsciously or consciously asking myself the same question the forum posed: is the grief and loss from choosing to place your child for adoption worse than the grief experienced through death? I feel I may be at a place in my life where I am getting an answer to this question.

Top 10 Things Birth Mothers want YOU to Know

The day before Mother’s Day is recognized as Birth Mother’s Day (May 11, 2019) . Here are ten of the ten thousand things birth mothers want the world to know.

Mary’s Unexpected Pregnancy

In 1992, the song Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant came out. I was six years as a birth parent, and the first time I heard it, it hit me hard. I think I sat and cried for about an hour. That song always puts tears in my eyes because it so accurately portrays the fear of facing an unexpected pregnancy and the need for help, love and support.

Open Adoption – the Best Mother’s Day Gift

Every May LSS has an annual event to honor birth mothers. It provides them with an opportunity to visit with others who have traveled the same path in choosing to place their children for adoption. It serves as a support group as they struggle with grief and loss, but also allows them to celebrate their child.

To Give Up

What goes through your mind when you hear the phrase “give up”?  What comes to my mind is, “I don’t know; I give up!”  Some people “give up smoking” because it’s bad for them.  Think about the phrase, “to give away.” What do you think of when you hear that? I gave away some furniture I didn’t want anymore.  In either case, what usually comes to mind is that whatever was “given up” or “given away” wasn’t important, wasn’t needed, or wasn’t wanted.

Thinking of Birth Mothers This Mother’s Day

In the early days of adoption, women were often sent away to stay at a maternity home to hide their pregnancies, have their babies and place them for adoption. This was usually under the guise of caring for an ailing aunt, attending a special school, or some other story. After giving birth, they were sent home never to speak of their children again. But they most certainly thought about them. Society was not kind to their pain. When I think of these women, I think of the song, “The Healing Has Begun,” by Matthew West, which begins, “You have carried the weight of your secret for way too long.” Thank goodness things have changed.