If you haven’t read my last blog post, it refers to our impending move as required by my daughter (said only somewhat tongue-in-cheek) and the school boundary changes. Well, I’m happy to say things are moving ahead. We have found a great house and it looks like we are going to be able to stay together as a family. As Hannibal from the A-Team would say, “I love it when a plan comes together!”
As excited as we are to be moving, my son has expressed some reservation. Really?!? He’s getting a bigger room, probably his own bathroom, a great yard, woods to run in. What’s the problem, kid? Fortunately I didn’t give that response, but I did ask why.
First, it is a little hard for anyone, especially kids, to grasp something in the future that is a little abstract for them. That’s just human nature and cognitive development.
The bigger issue was actually what he was leaving behind. Our current home is the only home he has ever lived in. We have some great neighbors. We have great memories from this house. It is close to the park and bike trails. He was sad to be leaving all of that behind.
As we talked through it I think (hope) I helped him see it in a more positive light. I’m fairly confident he won’t throw a fit and refuse to move with us at the last minute.
As I processed that conversation and talked about it with my wife, I realized I would be experiencing some of those same emotions. While I am excited about the new house, I am a little sad about leaving our current house.
Alright, enough sappy sentimentality…….. before I get misty. Let’s apply this.
Are you considering a change for the future? Have you really processed what that means and how it will impact you? Maybe it is a move of your own. Maybe a new job. Maybe a new vehicle. Maybe retirement. Whatever it is, it is going to be a change.
At Center for Financial Resources, we work with clients who are facing changes all the time. Sometimes the changes are their own choice. Sometimes the changes are not what they would like, but they just don’t have any other choice. Even the good changes can be difficult because they are leaving something behind. That something can be material or something more emotional like a behavior or lifestyle.
Again, it’s just human nature and probably even healthy to deal with that whole ball of emotions.
The unfortunate situations are when someone really needs to make a change, but cannot because of their attachment to where they currently are. Maybe they don’t want to leave the home they can no longer afford. Maybe they can’t imagine living without a particular habit they have developed.
The fear of leaving those things behind can actually keep them from moving forward to a better, more healthy situation.
So what do we do about it? Well, it doesn’t have to be complicated.
What worked with my 11-year old can be very helpful for adults as well. Make out a list that acknowledges those things you will be leaving behind. Then, add another section of the list that includes all of the positive things that will come with the change. Do you have a better view of the future now? Do the benefits of the change outweigh what you will be leaving behind? If you truly consider the whole situation and find that the benefits of the change really aren’t worth it, at least you are making a more informed decision to stay where you are. You specifically know why you are not going to make the change. “And knowing is half the battle.” (Thank you G.I. Joe.)
If you are still feeling overwhelmed by your options and the pending changes, I would also suggest an appointment with one of the counselors at the Center for Financial Resources. Most decisions involve our finances. If that is the case, your counselor can help you weigh the different options and see which works best for your unique situation. We won’t make the decision for you, but can help provide an objective perspective on the situation.
written by Breck Miller, Community Relations Coordinator
LSS Center for Financial Resources
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